We are back again with our Expectation Coach, author Larry Armstead II.
The community is buzzing about this segment, so let’s go right into our question this month: Melissa asks, “How do you move forward with someone when you feel as if you can’t forgive them for betraying your trust and not telling you the truth?”
The first thing you need to do is take a moment, breathe, and pause. Ask yourself why you’re content on moving forward with someone who has completely shattered the very foundation of every relationship–trust. Without trust, the relationship does not work. Also, understand this: before you can ever expect someone else to tell you the truth, you have to tell the truth to yourself. So I counter with what is it that you’ve learned growing up about relationships that makes you believe it’s okay to place yourself back in a vulnerable and exposed condition repeatedly after someone has shown you that they can’t be trusted with the most fragile sides of you? That’s the truth you have to start with and it very well may not be pretty. Once you have told the truth about that to yourself, forgive yourself for perpetuating the pattern. Telling the truth to yourself about yourself and forgiving yourself is the only way the forgiveness you’re seeking to extend to someone else is ever going to bubble up to the surface.
Amazing advice and perspective.
If you’d like to see your question answered by Larry, head over to his site at larry-armstead.com or contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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